


Echoes

by Witty_Clever_Username



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Depressing, Post-First War with Voldemort, Remus Lupin & James Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25745629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witty_Clever_Username/pseuds/Witty_Clever_Username
Summary: Once someones made a permanent mark on your life they never truly leave you. Remus knows this to be a fact, he would after all he’s lost so many.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Echoes

Once someones made a permanent mark on your life they never truly leave you. Remus knows this to be a fact, he would after all he’s lost so many. They’re still with him though, no matter what he does and sometimes it’s too much, sometimes he wishes he could just forget. He couldn’t though, because their echoes are with him and he sees them in everything, he hears their responses, feels their laughter. 

His life has become so solitary that he can vividly imagine them with him in the silence that surrounds his life. 

Peter is with him when he reads a new book, so much so that he almost ends up asking him if he’s read it. He can hear long winded debates over the authors interpretations that spiral out of control until their arguing about the classics once again. 

He has to stop himself from laughing and saying ‘look mate, why don’t we play chess and forget about it, were never going to agree’. He doesn’t say it because as much as he wants it’d only be silence that responses to him. 

They’d never get to agree, the chess game would never be played. Sometimes when he’s feeling particularly low after he’s remembered Peter isn’t here arguing with him, he sets the board, makes a move and says a quick ‘it’s your turn mate’ to the empty room.

Lily comes to him when he’s upset. She brings a smile, a shoulder to cry on, tells him he’s not so bad. Lily is just there when he needs someone, always. 

She makes a joke when he’s picking out an outfit for his next in a never ending stream of job interviews and he imagines her picking a completely different one, he always ends up wearing the one Lily picked because Lily is always right even if just in his head. 

Lily is there when he gets fired from job after job for his absences. She tells him to chin up, but still gets mad at them for firing him, threatening to use some of those hexes she’s so well practiced at because of James. He wants to laugh at this as he turns in his name tag and moves on to the next dead end job. 

When it’s late at night and he’s so lonely his body aches for the warmth of another he pretends she’s there, tells her how much he wants someone in his life and cries onto her shoulders. When he wakes up in the morning and his pillow is damp he’ll set his bed and leave with a ‘thanks for listening Lils’ and his heart will ache for the ‘Of course Rem, Now lets go find you a man!’.

James comes to the bar with him for drinks, where he ventures far too often now. James of course tells him this, but doesn’t stop him, maybe even buys him a drink or two. Obviously he doesn’t but he would’ve, of course if James were with him he probably wouldn’t come so often. 

James gets distracted by the football playing on the screen and yells and cheers for goals, He’ll groan in response and pretend to be annoyed by it. James will see his somber mood and start causing mischief around the bar just to make him smile.

When he’s good and plastered, James will make sure he gets home safe, then he’ll argue with him about his living conditions and offer to help. He can hear him chastising him with a ‘I’m bloody loaded Moony, you don’t need to be living like this. Stop being stubborn’. 

James is with him as well every time his mind slips back to his youth and he desires to cause some chaos, he feels James egging him on, telling him that his pranks are always the best. 

There is no one to prank anymore though and that reality crashes him back to earth quicker then any other, but for James he’ll cast a quick spell in his shit hole apartment pretending it’s the Slytherin common room. 

When he cleans up the mess later he’ll say a quick ‘Mischief Managed’ and the tears will come when he doesn’t hear James’ voice ringing along side his.

Sirius, he wishes most he could forget, or at least warp in his mind to the man he truly is. His mind never pictures the real Sirius, the living, breathing, evil Sirius. No, his mind pictures the Sirius he thought he knew.

It’s the cruelest of fates that Sirius would still be with him in everything he does. The man who took everything from him in one night still owns his very soul. He hates him more than words could possibly say and still. 

He tries so damn hard to conjure one of the others every time Sirius comes to his dark lonely mind, but he can’t, it’s always Sirius. When he’s hooking up with someone, he feels Sirius’ hair in his hands, Sirius’ body above his. When he’s waking up after the full moon and he wraps his arms around his shattered body he feels Sirius’ strong arms holding him instead. 

Sirius’ words whisper to him all the time.  
When he eats, ‘You can’t cook worth shit Moony, Move over I’ve got you’,  
When he sleeps,‘It’s just a dream Rem, I’ve got you’,  
While he works, ‘You don’t need to do these shitty jobs, I’ve got you’  
When he wakes, ‘Come back to bed, no working today. I’ve got you’  
When he showers, ‘You missed a spot, don’t worry, I’ve got you’

Everywhere and everything he does Sirius is there, haunting him with sweet words and promises that he’d always be there. Promises that he’s got him. It’s funny because it’s true, Sirius has him. 

Even now when he despises him and he’s so mad thinking about Sirius he feels like he could rip himself apart right here and now he can still hear Sirius clear as a bell.  
‘Don’t be mad Moony, I’ve got you’.

They haven’t left him, they never would. Their marks are permanent, even those he wishes weren’t so. Still it’s a bitter after taste of what once was, echos of the past. 

He’d give anything for one more day, one final day in the sun by the great lake. James’ arms wrapped tightly around Lily, while Peter throws stones into the lake. Even Sirius would be there, not the man who killed his 3 best friends, but the boy he loved. He’d run his hands through Sirius’ silky hair while he watched them laugh and play. 

He’d savoir it this time, memorize ever detail. No books, no distractions, just them. He’d focus so hard on their faces, voices and words, that maybe his sheer will could bring them back to him and they’d no longer be echoes.

**Author's Note:**

> I always forget to do this, so if anyone wants my [Tumblr](https://writing-wrongs-and-singing-songs.tumblr.com/)


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